Overworked, Overwhelmed…Overjoyed!

Overworked, Overwhelmed…Overjoyed!
I often feel as though life these days for not just some of us, but dare I say nearly all of us, is a tormented tug between our work and our life. What we must do versus what we would love to do. Our ob...ligations and responsibilities versus our passion and giftedness. Hope and desire versus practical needs. Having it all versus wanting it all. A stellar career versus a thriving family. Living the dream versus the occasional daydream. Our job versus our joy. Our compassion for ourselves versus pleasing others. Our unique soul versus performing for the approval and accolades temperamentally bestowed upon us. Punching a time clock versus where did the time go? Faith and spirituality versus doubt and cynicism. Exhaustion versus elation. “If only” versus “I can and I will.” “I wish” versus “I deserve.” I could go on and on and on. In other words, we are CONSTANTLY duking it out within our own lives. It’s so real and impacting it’s a wonder we aren’t sporting tell-tale bumps and bruises. And weary though we may be, we are day-in and day-out wrestling with a relentless tug-of-war between what is and what could be. Trying desperately to find that Promised Land of a serene balance between work, and life where everything feels well and right and ever so pleasantly designed. So for as much as our life of This VERSUS That feels like a never ending slug-fest, we can begin to win our way back to experiencing hope, joy, gratitude, belief, belonging, passion, soul, and blissful centeredness with the slightest and simplest tactical move. We need to let go of our death grip on the daily grind and our frazzled, strained juggling act to let the balls drop and realize that it isn’t about the circus act we are performing, it’s about being part of the laughter going on in the stands. We need to approach our life not from the perspective of getting our life FIGURED out, but FINDING it out. I mentioned Steve Nys in my last post and another impacting statement he made is worth a mention here. In his words, “I believe that everything happens in perfect order, even though I do not fully understand.” But instead of trusting and believing in the perfect order, we are draining ourselves trying to figure out our life; “Do I like my job? Can we afford a bigger house? How am I going to pay the bills? Will I get the promotion? Should I go back to “work?” What if this relationship doesn’t work out? Private school or public school? Nanny or daycare? Starting a business or being an employee? Paper or plastic?” Uugh! It’s nothing short of exhausting. So instead, let’s FIND out. Let’s find out each day what we have the opportunity to discover. Let’s find out who we are supposed to meet and where an unexpected opportunity or surprise acquaintance may lead. Let’s find out how we feel about our day and what parts of it feel good and true and then drift in that direction. Let’s believe in and trust the perfect order of things. Let’s stop forcing ourselves and our lives toward being FIGURED out and instead perhaps we can enjoy and embrace FINDING out what wonders await an open heart and mind. By the way; this is not intended as some passive, “let’s just see what happens” naïve approach to life. FINDING out about your lives is not a suggestion to be a spectator waiting for your show to start. Rather it is the most active, purposeful role I can espouse. When we are FIGURING out our life and trying to cram our experience into predictable boxes with predetermined expectations we are going to miss the moment. We are going to miss the road signs on our journey that point us in the direction of what is possible not necessarily what is practical. We are going to pass on an opportunity, or forego an encounter that are both intended and necessary to bring us where we belong. If we are consistently pulling in that tug-of-war trying to figure it all out, the ONLY outcome of spending our time and energy on such a thankless task is that we will be overworked and overwhelmed…constantly. We are day in and day out writing away trying to determine our story. What is it about? How does it go? It’s akin to taking notes during an amazing lecture. The more time you spend scribbling things down, the less you actually hear the wisdom being shared. Or perhaps it’s like trying to video tape your child’s second grade acting debut. Being busy recording it, means you aren’t actually watching it and let me tell you, the replay on your iPad is NOTHING like the original masterpiece of a performance. But you’ve missed it. The true moment has come and gone without you. And if you are fixated on figuring your life out, what you truly need to find will go unnoticed and undiscovered. All of your writing on the script of your life about what you have figured out will amount to a lot of effort and numerous chapters of pure nonsense. Drivel that no one wants to read…honestly. I have etched MANY chapters of the appalling stuff. If instead you spend your precious energy finding out how your story will go…allowing the perfect order and all of its unannounced opportunities to pen your pages, the story will be written as it was intended and your experience will not be one of overwork or overwhelm. It will be a tale of wonder, belief and intention. And you and anyone fortunate enough to read your work will experience the Joy that lies within.


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